Advice
Stirnerian advice: If you got a severe problem in your life, and worrying about it makes you feel bad, tense, etc., then stop worrying about it. Because if nothing matters anyway, you can as well face disaster with a smile.
Social Media As A Revolutionary Tool
Why am I on social media? The question rather is: why was I not on social media?
In the past I subscribed to some neo-luddite, primitivist, "anarchist" strains of thinking that criticized technology, media, and especially the internet, but also political movements in general and the anarchist milieu itself.
The thought was something like this: anarchists and leftists write a lot of manifestos, position papers, essays, release them in magazines or, more often, on the net, and they think, "that's it!", that's already the revolution. But it's just a *symbolic* act. It won't change anything. If you really want to change the world, you need to go out into the *real world*, do some tangible action, organize a strike, set up an anarchist cell with other people, and so on. Now, I have nothing against strikes or "direct action". But the truth is that *symbolic action* works; that technology and media can be used for revolutionary aims.
Writing about anarchism on the internet and on social media will change the world. Because it will make people think, become aware of anarchism, reflect on authority and injustice, and so on; and these new thoughts will move their everyday life experience; eventually change their own behavior and attitude and concepts, thus it flows into the real, "tangible" world, and if enough people are part of this change, the world will change with them.
The word, language is more powerful than any "tangible" form of action. If you spread revolutionary words, you spread the revolution.
Thus the internet, social media is a wonderful, wonderful tool for the revolutionary struggle. Spread ideas, text, symbols on the various forms of media - and you will change the world.
In the past I subscribed to some neo-luddite, primitivist, "anarchist" strains of thinking that criticized technology, media, and especially the internet, but also political movements in general and the anarchist milieu itself.
The thought was something like this: anarchists and leftists write a lot of manifestos, position papers, essays, release them in magazines or, more often, on the net, and they think, "that's it!", that's already the revolution. But it's just a *symbolic* act. It won't change anything. If you really want to change the world, you need to go out into the *real world*, do some tangible action, organize a strike, set up an anarchist cell with other people, and so on. Now, I have nothing against strikes or "direct action". But the truth is that *symbolic action* works; that technology and media can be used for revolutionary aims.
Writing about anarchism on the internet and on social media will change the world. Because it will make people think, become aware of anarchism, reflect on authority and injustice, and so on; and these new thoughts will move their everyday life experience; eventually change their own behavior and attitude and concepts, thus it flows into the real, "tangible" world, and if enough people are part of this change, the world will change with them.
The word, language is more powerful than any "tangible" form of action. If you spread revolutionary words, you spread the revolution.
Thus the internet, social media is a wonderful, wonderful tool for the revolutionary struggle. Spread ideas, text, symbols on the various forms of media - and you will change the world.
In Order To Change The World
As a teen, and later, I ran around in the real world, attending anarchist meetings, visited many squats, met with people in order to win them over politically, tried to form groups and projects, and so on, and what did I - or rather "we" - attain and achieve? Nothing.
Then I realized all you need in order to change the world is a computer and access to the internet.
Then I realized all you need in order to change the world is a computer and access to the internet.
Embracing Your Own Sickness: Inbetween Anxiety And Ecstasy
As a kid, and later as a teen, I was suffering from severe anxiety and panic attacks.
I also knew about "ritual ecstasy": indigenous people would through methods such as relentless dancing reach an ecstatic high.
Then something eventually dawned on me, and I made the connection.
During my anxiety attacks, I would experience symptoms such as my heartbeat rushing, rising temperature, sweating, and, above all, the feeling I would somehow lose my mind and get detached from reality.
Was that not a state that from the description seemed very close to the experience of ritual ecstasy?
So I decided to no longer fight my anxiety, but let it rise to a maximum level and let it take complete control, of me, let it wash over me.
And, did I experience "ecstasy" this way?
Yes I did. I reached states of complete euphoria, bliss and happiness. Some of my happiest moments in life were during these highjacked "anxiety attacks".
It made me a completely satisfied person.
People I encountered later in life often told me I was "naturally high" or appeared bubbly and optimistic most of the time.
Little did they know that in social situations, or for example when playing at parties, I often experienced anxiety, but that I changed it to an ecstatic state with this method, and that this was the reason I came off as being so "joyous".
In these times, I often got to know people who were suffering from mental problems, including anxiety, too. I always told them the same thing; that they should embrace their "states" instead of fighting them. But they usually reacted very negative, and in fact it often seemed to make them very anrgy.
Now, when looking back, I too must admit that it maybe was not "without danger" to do the thing I did. But it helped me much better than any therapy and - was "the best I could do", given the circumstances.
So, when reflecting on this, I think this different method of facing mental illness, is at least something that is interesting and should be, in one way or the other, further explored.
I also knew about "ritual ecstasy": indigenous people would through methods such as relentless dancing reach an ecstatic high.
Then something eventually dawned on me, and I made the connection.
During my anxiety attacks, I would experience symptoms such as my heartbeat rushing, rising temperature, sweating, and, above all, the feeling I would somehow lose my mind and get detached from reality.
Was that not a state that from the description seemed very close to the experience of ritual ecstasy?
So I decided to no longer fight my anxiety, but let it rise to a maximum level and let it take complete control, of me, let it wash over me.
And, did I experience "ecstasy" this way?
Yes I did. I reached states of complete euphoria, bliss and happiness. Some of my happiest moments in life were during these highjacked "anxiety attacks".
It made me a completely satisfied person.
People I encountered later in life often told me I was "naturally high" or appeared bubbly and optimistic most of the time.
Little did they know that in social situations, or for example when playing at parties, I often experienced anxiety, but that I changed it to an ecstatic state with this method, and that this was the reason I came off as being so "joyous".
In these times, I often got to know people who were suffering from mental problems, including anxiety, too. I always told them the same thing; that they should embrace their "states" instead of fighting them. But they usually reacted very negative, and in fact it often seemed to make them very anrgy.
Now, when looking back, I too must admit that it maybe was not "without danger" to do the thing I did. But it helped me much better than any therapy and - was "the best I could do", given the circumstances.
So, when reflecting on this, I think this different method of facing mental illness, is at least something that is interesting and should be, in one way or the other, further explored.
Life Inside Dreams
When I was 21, I realized that my dreams and my reality do not meet, so I gave up my dreams. 12 years later I realized I had made a mistake; so I gave up my reality to be able to live inside my dreams.
The End Of The Sex Craze Part 2
A common saying in our Western world is that we are constantly "oversexed and underfucked". In many, many movies, TV series, other media, life in Western society is portrayed in such a way that everyone is all the time promiscuous and there are opportunities for sex everywhere and everyone just wants to get it on all the time. This creates a sex image of life, and a lot of people believe in it. But it is not the truth. I think a more realistic way to look at it is this: 10% of people live that "crazy sex life" with lots of encounters and activities. 30% live a more average and meagre life, with month- or yearlong pauses, but on the other hand also some sex and relationships. They more or less "get by" sexually. And 60% have a close to nothing (or even nothing) sex life and only get sex or a relationship in the rarest of occasions. And this way of looking at things is much closer to the truth than the world the media seems to transmit and generate.
There are also some factors which decide if you are likely to get sex or not. If you're rich, or pretty, or in the best case both, you will have it easy. If you are poor and "not pretty", it will become very hard. Also as a male, if you're a social misfit, outcast, nerd, rebel, anarchist, or another type of freak, usually girls won't touch you with a ten-feet pole.
Why do I write this? Because this fake media created image of "sex" and a sexual life needs to be deconstructed. And the reality, which is often not as nice and shiny and exciting like the things we see on TV or at the movies, needs to be acknowledged.
Otherwise there will be a lot of frustration, as people will feel they're wrong or worthless because they are not part of the "big sex craze" the media projects, but which doesn't really exist. Especially since it is communicated that everyone can have a fulfilling sex life if one just does the right thing and changes one's personality. No, a lot of males, and women too, simply can't.
It's important to admit reality, to face reality, and not live in a fake world the media created and tries to pull over our heads.
Just say "no!" to the "sex craze".
There are also some factors which decide if you are likely to get sex or not. If you're rich, or pretty, or in the best case both, you will have it easy. If you are poor and "not pretty", it will become very hard. Also as a male, if you're a social misfit, outcast, nerd, rebel, anarchist, or another type of freak, usually girls won't touch you with a ten-feet pole.
Why do I write this? Because this fake media created image of "sex" and a sexual life needs to be deconstructed. And the reality, which is often not as nice and shiny and exciting like the things we see on TV or at the movies, needs to be acknowledged.
Otherwise there will be a lot of frustration, as people will feel they're wrong or worthless because they are not part of the "big sex craze" the media projects, but which doesn't really exist. Especially since it is communicated that everyone can have a fulfilling sex life if one just does the right thing and changes one's personality. No, a lot of males, and women too, simply can't.
It's important to admit reality, to face reality, and not live in a fake world the media created and tries to pull over our heads.
Just say "no!" to the "sex craze".
My Progression In Music
When I started doing music in 1997, I was interested in Experimental Hardcore, as it was done on labels such as Fischkopf, Praxis, or some releases on Digital Hardcore Recordings (especially Ec8or). I was also interested in two styles that just began to emerge: Speedcore and Breakcore. So the first tracks I produced were in these styles. A very early track by me - Adrenaline Junkie - was an 800 BPM Speedcore track that was later the first track by me that which released on vinyl (on the Biophilia Allstars LP in 1998, when tracks with such speed were still very rare). So this was my first phase of doing music, and tracks from that era for example ended up on my Blut EP or the Widerstand LP.
My conception of music thoroughly changed when Somatic Responses send me a copy of one of their demo cassettes in late 1998. That kind of music just blew me away. What I noted was that there was not only a focus on noise and distortion, but also on intricate melodies. So I decided to leave the pure "bang bang" Speedcore and noise-centered Breakcore behind, and create music with attention to melodies and atmosphere too. I called this type of music "Soundscape" - the idea that there is music that makes you imagine a futuristic, alien or dystopic landscape in your mind while you were listening to the ambience and mood of the tracks. This was my main focus for a while, and results of this can be listened to on my Praxis EP or the "c8.com demo CD-R" that has been re-released digitally a while ago.
I had left Speedcore behind for a few years, partly because I didn't like the direction the German Speedcore scene had taken. But somewhen after the year 2000 I noticed that things had changed again. People were embracing the noisy, french label (Anticore, Sans Pitie...) inspired Speedcore I was loving (and producing) 5 years ago. So I decided to go on the Speedcore road was once more and produced a lot of tracks in that vein again. This also led to me being booked for a lot of parties in Germany, and a lot of tracks were produced with a live-setting in mind. Because I was more focused on playing gigs than getting my tracks released on a label, stuff from that period was at first not released, but I did so later digitally (on my bandcamp) and some tracks actually found their way to vinyl around 10 years later (Acid 8, Kick... check discogs for them). Around the same time that I started getting back to Speedcore, I also began to become very interested in Techno, Acid and Oldschool sounds - a style I had rejected during my "Experimental Hardcore" years, as I saw it as music "of the past" - but it was now becoming the future again. This led to the creation of tracks like Urban Uprising or Back To The Oldschool, released on the Acid Massacre EP. I was also becoming more and more interested in Doomcore and Doomtechno (a style that, unlike Oldschool etc, I had loved the years before too), especially the stuff that was done on labels like PCP and Things To Come. My own productions in a Doomcore style were first released on the Emerald Planet EP in 2005. There was a slight detour in 2004, when I did a "Soundscape Breakcore" album for Praxis that was planned to be released on Vinyl and CD, but, due to some complicated releases (on my part), was first released in 2018, digitally (the "Malfunction" album).
Then came my long break from the Hardcore scene (and producing music) which lasted until 2008. When I got back, I was very interested in Techno once more, especially Detroit type Techno, but also generally Acid, Techno and House sounds from the late 80s to the early 90s. Also my interest in Doomcore was growing once more. So from now on I mostly produced Doomcore with a focus on a Techno "groove" or theme. The results of this phase of doing music was released on many netlabels around the world. At the same time I was also doing Speedcore now and then, usually with an "Oldschool Speedcore" flavor.
My Techno love didn't wane, but I was also becoming very much infatuated with New Wave sounds, Post-Punk, Goth, Indie Rock... I was especially loving the focus on melody these genres have, with very special, emotional, bittersweet melodies and harmonies (music with focus on "melody" was, after all, a heavy influence during my "Soundscape" era already).
My production then shifted once more to melody and mood as the central theme of my tracks; the Techno influence didn't go away but it now had to play together with the melodic aspects of the track. These tracks, again, were released on a lot of netlabels.
So this was (is) my progression in music. I'm not sure where the journey will lead to next. Lately I've become more interested in Experimental sounds once more... so things become a bit like a circle, maybe? We will see where the road leads to.
My conception of music thoroughly changed when Somatic Responses send me a copy of one of their demo cassettes in late 1998. That kind of music just blew me away. What I noted was that there was not only a focus on noise and distortion, but also on intricate melodies. So I decided to leave the pure "bang bang" Speedcore and noise-centered Breakcore behind, and create music with attention to melodies and atmosphere too. I called this type of music "Soundscape" - the idea that there is music that makes you imagine a futuristic, alien or dystopic landscape in your mind while you were listening to the ambience and mood of the tracks. This was my main focus for a while, and results of this can be listened to on my Praxis EP or the "c8.com demo CD-R" that has been re-released digitally a while ago.
I had left Speedcore behind for a few years, partly because I didn't like the direction the German Speedcore scene had taken. But somewhen after the year 2000 I noticed that things had changed again. People were embracing the noisy, french label (Anticore, Sans Pitie...) inspired Speedcore I was loving (and producing) 5 years ago. So I decided to go on the Speedcore road was once more and produced a lot of tracks in that vein again. This also led to me being booked for a lot of parties in Germany, and a lot of tracks were produced with a live-setting in mind. Because I was more focused on playing gigs than getting my tracks released on a label, stuff from that period was at first not released, but I did so later digitally (on my bandcamp) and some tracks actually found their way to vinyl around 10 years later (Acid 8, Kick... check discogs for them). Around the same time that I started getting back to Speedcore, I also began to become very interested in Techno, Acid and Oldschool sounds - a style I had rejected during my "Experimental Hardcore" years, as I saw it as music "of the past" - but it was now becoming the future again. This led to the creation of tracks like Urban Uprising or Back To The Oldschool, released on the Acid Massacre EP. I was also becoming more and more interested in Doomcore and Doomtechno (a style that, unlike Oldschool etc, I had loved the years before too), especially the stuff that was done on labels like PCP and Things To Come. My own productions in a Doomcore style were first released on the Emerald Planet EP in 2005. There was a slight detour in 2004, when I did a "Soundscape Breakcore" album for Praxis that was planned to be released on Vinyl and CD, but, due to some complicated releases (on my part), was first released in 2018, digitally (the "Malfunction" album).
Then came my long break from the Hardcore scene (and producing music) which lasted until 2008. When I got back, I was very interested in Techno once more, especially Detroit type Techno, but also generally Acid, Techno and House sounds from the late 80s to the early 90s. Also my interest in Doomcore was growing once more. So from now on I mostly produced Doomcore with a focus on a Techno "groove" or theme. The results of this phase of doing music was released on many netlabels around the world. At the same time I was also doing Speedcore now and then, usually with an "Oldschool Speedcore" flavor.
My Techno love didn't wane, but I was also becoming very much infatuated with New Wave sounds, Post-Punk, Goth, Indie Rock... I was especially loving the focus on melody these genres have, with very special, emotional, bittersweet melodies and harmonies (music with focus on "melody" was, after all, a heavy influence during my "Soundscape" era already).
My production then shifted once more to melody and mood as the central theme of my tracks; the Techno influence didn't go away but it now had to play together with the melodic aspects of the track. These tracks, again, were released on a lot of netlabels.
So this was (is) my progression in music. I'm not sure where the journey will lead to next. Lately I've become more interested in Experimental sounds once more... so things become a bit like a circle, maybe? We will see where the road leads to.
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