One of my reviewers wrote that "Low Entropy is likely a psychotic cosmonaut in disguise who records the ominous frequencies of subspace and plays them back for our listening pleasure". Close enough. I'm not a psychotic cosmonaut (well, I'm that too), but a psychonaut.
A psychonaut is someone who explores alternative states of consciousness and his own mind. I don't do drugs to reach these states, but for all my life I got into them "on my own", "by myself", starting in childhood and getting more extreme as I got older.
At first these states scared me (a lot) and I didn't know how to handle them; but when I encountered Hardcore as a teen, I found a way to at least gain some control and make sense of my situation with the use of this form of music.
Now, these states, and my own music production, are closely linked; sometimes I hear sounds during these states and generate similar ones when producing; but most of the time, a different thing happens: in these states I have certain sensations, feelings, ideas, and when producing a track, I try to generate sounds that create the very same ideas and feelings. For example, I might have a feeling of enlightenment, or euphoria, or ecstasy, in such a state; I then try to generate a track that has the same feeling of enlightenment or euphoria or ecstasy to me, too. It's more complicated than that in actual cases, but I try to give a rough draft here.
I must say I not only try to reproduce "light" emotions or thoughts; but also sounds that remind me of extreme feelings of anxiety, panic, depression and hopelessness, for example. So when I make a track called "There Is No Future", this not a gimmick, or trying to be dark, but how I felt at that time.
Now, for someone who is not a psychonaut, this might seem bizarre, or ridiculous, or pure nonsense: to get into "alternative states" and reproducing them with sonic means!
But, over the years, by the feedback I got, I formed the opinion it really works; for example one girl described listening to my music as "surfing dimensions and exploring areas of her brain that she didn't know existed".
My music is essentially my sonic psychonaut's diary.
Now, the big question for me has always been: is there a danger to what I do?
Spreading music to thousands of people that might put them into an alternative state of consciousness might not be the best idea in the book; it reminds me a bit of the (stereotypical) hippie plan to put LSD into the water supply of a town to make "everyone high and enlightened" which might have been catastrophic in the real world.
But there is something to say against this: I'm not spreading a substance but music, and music is abstract; there is rationality and intellect involved when processing music, so I assume the "psychedelic" content will just pass over everyone's head if they're not inclined to it anyway. A bit like time-travelling to medieval times and passing blueprints of atomic bombs to the general population; as no one in that time could understand the plans or build something out of them, this "dangerous information" would be no danger at all.
Also, those who flock to Hardcore and Doomcore and Techno, are most likely psychonauts themselves and somewhat used to and professional at "alternative states of consciousness", so a better metaphor would be "spreading LSD at a hippie session", which again is much less dangerous.
And, most of all, in the last years there have been some movies with heavy psychonaut imagery and topics, such as the "Doctor Strange" movie by Marvel, which was literally "consumed" by millions of people, and which apparently has caused not much harm or catastrophy.
But, it's a thought I can't really shake off. So maybe a word of warning is necessary. My music is based on some "extreme psychological states". Handle with care, and on your own responsibility. And for those who do: go on!
Music Producer With Social Anxiety
The social anxiety I got since 2005 makes it impossible for me to meet (almost) any person, or to go to parties, or even play at them.
Now, I don't think I'm a "big name" in the Hardcore scene, but let's say my music is now known to "quite some" people.
This was never intended that way, but it ended up being like it is. To get to that point took many years; and it was complicated by the fact I could never meet any person from this field of music in real life, or play at a party. In my first phase of doing music, before I had this problem, the "turning point" in my music activity was exactly when I started to play lots of gigs; this was what spread my music and made it known to others. But this option was no longer possible.
So everything I did and achieve in music in the last years is based solely on the computer and the internet.
Of course, over the years, people wanted to meet me, or to book me for a gig, or invite me to their party. I literally had to reject 100s of booking offers, including some very big and well known parties.
At first I was not very open about my problems; I was just saying I had no time or other things to do; never "big lies", but extended white lies that ended up becoming handy. Then I had the idea to just say I had "health problems", which is the truth; just that it's not physical, but "mental health" problems. But eventually I realized I should be honest, and told people about the actual problem.
In the end I think it alienated me a lot from the German and especially the Hamburg scene, as I assumed people would start to think I'm too arrogant or snobby to come to their party or meet them; but I guess I just have to live with that.
So, yeah, that's the way it ran, and I can't change the past; I sometimes wonder how my "music trajectory" had ended if I had been able to play all these gigs and get my music out in "the real world" and not just the internet; but it might not have been purely positive; when I still played gigs during the early years of my music, I eventually got influenced and somewhat dragged down by the party and social situation; example: I noticed no one was dancing when playing Acidcore, so I played less Acidcore - when I should have just done what I felt was right and stick to my sound. But that's easy to say on the outside, if you are in a social circle, it's quite hard not to be influenced, at least in some way.
So maybe this situation and problem was bad and negative for me, but it could also have been actually positive, or something inbetween, a grey area or a "blue and orange" area.
But, after all, it's safe to say that it led to some music and (extensive) musical output that I would not and could not have done if the situation had been different.
Now, I don't think I'm a "big name" in the Hardcore scene, but let's say my music is now known to "quite some" people.
This was never intended that way, but it ended up being like it is. To get to that point took many years; and it was complicated by the fact I could never meet any person from this field of music in real life, or play at a party. In my first phase of doing music, before I had this problem, the "turning point" in my music activity was exactly when I started to play lots of gigs; this was what spread my music and made it known to others. But this option was no longer possible.
So everything I did and achieve in music in the last years is based solely on the computer and the internet.
Of course, over the years, people wanted to meet me, or to book me for a gig, or invite me to their party. I literally had to reject 100s of booking offers, including some very big and well known parties.
At first I was not very open about my problems; I was just saying I had no time or other things to do; never "big lies", but extended white lies that ended up becoming handy. Then I had the idea to just say I had "health problems", which is the truth; just that it's not physical, but "mental health" problems. But eventually I realized I should be honest, and told people about the actual problem.
In the end I think it alienated me a lot from the German and especially the Hamburg scene, as I assumed people would start to think I'm too arrogant or snobby to come to their party or meet them; but I guess I just have to live with that.
So, yeah, that's the way it ran, and I can't change the past; I sometimes wonder how my "music trajectory" had ended if I had been able to play all these gigs and get my music out in "the real world" and not just the internet; but it might not have been purely positive; when I still played gigs during the early years of my music, I eventually got influenced and somewhat dragged down by the party and social situation; example: I noticed no one was dancing when playing Acidcore, so I played less Acidcore - when I should have just done what I felt was right and stick to my sound. But that's easy to say on the outside, if you are in a social circle, it's quite hard not to be influenced, at least in some way.
So maybe this situation and problem was bad and negative for me, but it could also have been actually positive, or something inbetween, a grey area or a "blue and orange" area.
But, after all, it's safe to say that it led to some music and (extensive) musical output that I would not and could not have done if the situation had been different.
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