Thoughts On Some Things: Experimental therapeutic hardcore techno for mitigating severe mental health issues

I discovered Hardcore Techno as a teenager with extreme mental health issues. Listening to this music helped me extremely with these problems.

I eventually started producing Hardcore myself. And the thought quickly came to me that my own productions could help me with my own problems as well. And they did. Tremendously.

To the point that I would probably be homeless, institutionalized, whatever, maybe worse - without being a Hardcore Techno producer.

Now, over the years, through my involvement in the Hardcore scene, I met lots of people, both in the "real world" and online, who also had severe mental health issues, sometimes better, sometimes worse than me.

And now and then, they told me that listening to the tracks I made for my *own* problems, helped them with *their* problems, too! And that "my" music actually helped them tremendously, and changed their lives to the better.

And I don't say this because 'it feeds my ego'. But because, being told this, I came to the thought that I could try to produce tracks in such a way, that it has a potential effect which aids others who are inflicted with these types of problem. To at least *try* to create something that is at least *partially* a cure. (If you don't think that art and music and hardcore *could* have a "therapeutic" effect... well, then I probably can't convince you of this. But I know that art has this power). And this way, I could do something *good* in this world for a change, and not return to the ashes at the end of my life, having wasted my energies.

This then become one of my biggest motifs when producing Hardcore. I wanted to created art that helps others with their mental health issues.

I always assumed this method is not without dangers. "Unleashing" an experimental art therapy... there are lots of things that could go wrong this way. It's one of the main reasons I tried to keep my music "underground", staying away from major labels and major exposure (and often actively sabotaging their efforts to "pull me out of the shadows" and into the public view).

To soothe my conscience, I always hoped that the music itself acts as the "gatekeeper" and lets the right ones in; i.e. that those who have these issues, yet are still drawn to my music, are drawn to it for the very reason that they feel it helps their condition, and does not worsen it!

(Nowadays, my take is that, yeah, what you do does have consequences. There is no 100% safe way in everything. You just gotta have faith, right? And try to do the best you can do.)

By the way, over time, my music attracted quite some wonderful and extreme "lunatics"... but that's another story!

So, here is a selection of tracks I made with the intention to help people with their mental health problems. (The list will be amended over time, so you can came back later to this post, and check it.)

in the list the specific issue to be cured is mentioned (such as depression, anxiety), next to the name of the track (put out on various releases).

So, handle this with care. I can't guarantee there is a help, aid, or cure in *for you*, maybe it will make your condition worse, or things will start to get strange for you quickly.

Let me tell you: I don't assume this would happen, not at all! But I thought a word of warning might be good.

To come to the conclusion of this text.

I hope I can help some people with these tracks on it in some way.

And regardless of this, I wish you the best, and hope you find some good possibilities to deal with your condition(s).

Oh, and if you think that these tracks, or even other music I produced, actually *did* help you, please contact me. Not only would i love this feedback, but it could also make it easier for me to produce similar tracks in the future. and if you had adverse effects, or bother bizarre things happened, you can contact me too, of course.