Teenage Isolation

As a teenager, I didn't go out on Weekends, I didn't go to parties, I didn't go to concerts, I didn't meet friends. There was a steady diet of scifi- and horror movies, video games... and above all, Hardcore.

Going to the record store, buying records, listening to them, and, of course producing tracks on my own...

And then the occasional Hardcore party, which, after the mid 90s, only happened only every few months. In between that: nothing. For example, in between the Fuckparde 1998 and the Fuckparde 1999 I didn't go to any party at all.

As I met other people from the Hardcore scene later in my life, I got to know that a lot of them lived similar lives.

It might not have been the most optimal way to lead a life, but it was fruitful, and in my opinion, led to a bunch of interesting tracks.

What is ironic though, is that a lot of people around the world now listen to my Hardcore productions, and I am in contact with a lot of people because of my music  - something that I essentially groomed in isolation.

A kind of paradox but positive outcome. So you never know where the road you begin walking on leads to.

Just Intonation / Microtuning / Xenharmonics in Hardcore Techno tracks and related genres

How many different notes / tones / pitches are there in one octave? C C# D D# E F F# G G# A A# B? 12?

Wrong. There is an infinite amount of different pitches. It was only around the turn of the 20th century that Western scales and tunings were standardized into what is called the "12 Tone Equal Temperament". The one I mentioned at the beginning of the text with C C# D D#... that is used in almost all songs and tracks in Pop, Techno, Electronica and so on.

The equal temperament tuning means that between each half note, there is the same "distance", the same interval... C to C# is the same half tone step as D to D# in equal temperament. Before our "modern times", this was not the case. In traditional tunings, such as meantone tunings, the intervals between half tones varied, and D# was not always the same note as Eb, or F# the same as Gb.

Now let's get back to our current days. While the 12 TET is the standard tuning by now in Western music, there were always people who tried to break out of this rigid system, rebelled against it and tried to explore the "forbidden" tones and tunings inbetween the "normal" scales' notes.

One such attempt is Just Intonation. Traditionally, tunings were based on intervals with whole number frequency ratios... a traditional perfect fifth meant a ratio of 2/3, or a perfect third a ratio of 4/5, and so on. This is lost in the 12 TET tuning. Almost all intervals are detuned in modern music on the radio and elsewhere, with only the octave and unison remeaning "Just", and the perfect fifth, perfect fourth and second remeaining at least somewhat close to a whole number frequency ratio.

Both major and minor thirds, for example, are way off compared to their traditional values.

Just Intonation tries to fix this problem, and uses scales that are closer to whole number ratios regarding intervals.

Another concept is Microtuning. The idea here is to employ steps that are "smaller" than half tone steps, like quarter tones, or even smaller intervals.

Xenharmonic is a term sometimes used for the "alien" feel of music not based on the standardized scales in Western music.

Once I started producing music, I quickly came accross the problems of the equal temperament tuning, and the possibilites in music once you go outside it. I experimented with Microtuning and Just Intonation, and similar or more experimental approaches; writing down which systems and concepts I used would be too much for this text, maybe this is something for the future.

Essentially, 99% of tracks I produced between 1997-2004 were not in the normal Western scales. These were tracks in genres such as Doomcore, Breakcore, Speedcore, Acid, Dark Ambient...

So here is a mix that features some of them, to showcase examples of how non-standard scales and tunings can be used even in Electronic and Hardcore music.

It starts with Broken Industrial Hardecore, moves to Breakcore and Speedcore, to end with Acidcore and Doomcore.

Recently, I moved a bit away of all this, and my music got into a field that I sometimes call "Post Intonation", but that is a wholly different topic altogether.

Tracklisting:

01. A Link To Another Universe

02. Daark

03. Don't Let Our Dreams Die

04. Desire

05. None Of This Is Real

06. Melodic

07. Symphony Of Creative Destruction

08. Angels And Devils

09. I am God

10. Disharmonic

11. Dark Speedcore

12. Fast

13. Urban Uprising

14. Emerald Planet

Being Doomed

I think it's no accident that I arrived at producing Doomcore. Because I AM doomed. With my mental health problems, there is always the chance that at some point I just disappear into a lunatic asylum forever. But even if this doesn't happen, I can hardly live a "normal" life. No future - for me. And this then fuels the doom mood for my music. But don't worry - right now everything is okay. And maybe there is a happy end after all.

My Dream Diary

29.08.2020

I dreamt that, similar to Dante's Divine Comedy, a guide was showing me the various levels of hell and heaven. As I reached the "uppermost heaven" and the area of "god", I was told there was actually another secret level above it, the level that contains "the secret of pure love". As I went there, it was a dome with a butterfly (with red, purple and other colors) at the center of it. As I looked at the butterfly, it began to transform. Then I woke up.

Analogue Equipment, Trackers, Modern DAWs, Hardcore

Did the switch to modern DAWs kill Hardcore? Was the sound better on analogue equipment and old tracker software? A while ago I listened to some Hardcore from the turn of the millenium, I period where I didn't like most releases very much; and I noted that in concept and structure, the tracks were not so much different from 1993 or 1994... but the sounds! The kicks gave me nothing, and the rest of the sounds didn't push me either... I also remembered a VERY veteran producer, who said with old analogue equipment you almost instantly had a good sound, while that's much harder to pull off with a new DAW... obviously there are s lot of producers with modern DAWs whose output I adore... but maybe that's the point, you need to work really hard with these DAWs to get something good out if, while it was much easier on old equipment.

Total Anxiety

I've been suffering from anxiety since my childhood. Now, most people who have anxiety will say the same thing: when they have a panic attack, they feel the fear coming, and they feel it rising, until it becomes unbearable, but then they will also be afraid that the fear keeps on rising and rising until it becomes nearly infinite, and be afraid that they then lose control and lose their mind because of the fear.

I had similar experiences with panic attacks. But when I was a teenager, influenced by my new found nihilism via Hardcore Techno, and my natural curiousity, I had a new idea: what would actually happen *if* my anxiety goes to "infinite"? How would that feel like? How does it feel to lose control and to lose one's mind? What is there to be found - beyond "sanity"? What kind of mental state is it?

Eventually, my curiousity got the better of me. So the next time I had a panic attack, I completely surrendered to my anxiety and let the fear totally sweep over me, and just let it rise and rise. Do you want to know what happened then?

Well - I won't tell you, because if I did, you'd think I'm "batshit insane" (which I am). Let's just say these experiences are the foundation for every track I produced since then.

The Subtle Anti-Sex Sentiment In Hardcore

What I always found interesting is that there is a kind of anti-sex sentiment in Hardcore and Gabber.
It might not be so obvious with the mass amount of "Porno Rap" etc. sampled Hardcore, but it is definitely there.

Take for example the classic Gabber track "Love Really Sucks" by the Stunned Guys with its vocals "Being in love really sucks[...]Babies cost a lot of money, please don't make me fuck you, honey!" - portraying a motion of 'go away with your love, sex, I'm listening to Hardcore, I don't need that crap'. Similarily, a note in the booklet of the first Terrordrome compilation - "He said that he loved me, but after listening to Terrordrome, I told him to get fucked." - again: 'I don't need your love and sex, let me mind my own business".

Apart from these - possibly very subtle - hints, let's face it, a lot people who listen to and produce these sounds "don't get sex very often" - to say the least. Party fueled by the fact that most girls/boys are not very inclined to "date" Psychotic Speedcore Freaks, Bipolar Breakcore Weirdos or Depressed Doomcore Heads. So this anti-sex thing is there. It seems many people in these scenes often are above - "sex".

In my mind, this connects to a line from the very good and surreal movie 'Naked Lunch'. "I'm on 'Bug Powder' - I don't need to come". Bug powder in that movie is a reference to Heroin, and the motion that is transported here is that Heroin is sweeter than sex. As the movie is about a person who did a lot of Heroin, it's likely he speaks from "experience".
Couldn't the line be used and amended for Hardcore?
"We listen to this sound - we have no need for romantic affection."