My Motivation

When I got back into doing music, I was very enthusiastic at first. But that quickly waned. There were two reasons for it.
The first was, I felt my music was not on par with my earlier music. It just didn't feel as exciting to me anymore. But the other reason was more important. I felt that I had expressed all that I could express with my old style of music already. I had reached a plateau. And I wondered if it was possible to get to a higher plateau. What made it worse was that with most music I listened to, I had the same reaction. It seemed to be good and exciting and everything, but didn't get beyond a certain level. And I wondered if it was indeed possible to transcend that level by the use of art.
Then three things happened. I re-read Neuromancer by William Gibson, listened to the new music done by Joerg Buchholz, and watched Inland Empire by David lynch. This showed that there was still a higher level to be reached by art.
This was in 2011. All music I done since then would likely not have been possible without encountering these three things.
I of course don't mean I tried to reach the level of mastership a David Lynch or a William Gibson has. But to realize there is something in art, that is still above and not common, and maybe one can reach and share a tiny part of it. Maybe it's a kind of hubris to even desire to reach this level. But I gave it my all, and I am not to judge if I succeeded with it or not.