In 1996 I thought Hardcore Techno could kickstart a social revolution; then, 5 years laters it seemed as if this idea was false, and the scene, world, society would, could not lead to a revolution, were not structured in a way to give room for such revolution.
But it took me around 10 years to realise that I was mistaken; that the idea of social revolution was right and real, and most importantly, true, and the things that seemingly happened in the scene, in society, its content and structures, were the thing that was wrong, of no importance, in all meaning - a false "fact". Revolution is still true and possible.
Naturally High
Friends used to call me "naturdrauf", german for "naturally high", and it's true, from my childhood on I would go to states of trance / altered states of consciousness "on my own" without taking drugs. These "states" include feelings as if falling out of the universe / into infinity, loss of self, feelings of loss of control, brain going on "cruise control" with shutdown of reflecting / thinking qualities, feelings of going "out of of body" and / or feeling as if dying, states of extreme euphoria and / or fear.
These happened within very shades of intensity; often mild, but sometimes extreme (usually in states of stress or "too much" action).
Therapists never could help me with these feelings, and It has been the "great work" of my life to learn to live with these feelings.
When I tried to fight them they could be very unpleasurable and negative, when I accepted them and "went with the flow" they became very benevolent and positive and pleasurable
These happened within very shades of intensity; often mild, but sometimes extreme (usually in states of stress or "too much" action).
Therapists never could help me with these feelings, and It has been the "great work" of my life to learn to live with these feelings.
When I tried to fight them they could be very unpleasurable and negative, when I accepted them and "went with the flow" they became very benevolent and positive and pleasurable
Idealist
It's tough being an anarchist in a scene that is so full of reactionaries and conservatism as the Hardcore scene - but it's even worse to be an idealist when the scene is composed of "Hardcore materialists". I believe in the existence of absolute, unchanging truth, true, eternal love and pure, honest good (the philosophy of idealism) (and to avoid accusations of narcissism and ego - I don't believe these things necessarily fill me up - as a meek human I have my "sinful" parts too) - but the ideology of (philosophical) materialism is against these simple but important facts... even mentioning them accounts to blasphemy to the materialist worldview... and everyone I meet tries to talk me out of it, instead advertising fake pluralism and fake nihilism ("everyone has his own truth", "we don't really know anything for certain" and similar silly statements). Really a never-ending struggle.
Gas Bill
Most money I ever got for a gig was 50 Euro when I played Tresor. The promoter later said "Nice to have you hear for that price" so maybe I could have demanded more. But the usual thing was you got no money at all, and played for gas money; and often the party didn't raise enough money to pay for the artists gas bill (as rarely more than 20 paying people attented Hardcore parties), so essentially you had to pay money to be able to play at a party. But we were not in to gain money, anyway :)
Science Fiction Stories
Some people think Science Fiction and Fantasy stories are just a symbolism and metaphor for the structure of current society, politics, culture, everyday reality.
I on the other hand assume that current society, politics, culture and everyday reality just mimic, follow and are subordinate to the epic events and concepts of Science Fiction and Fantasy stories.
I on the other hand assume that current society, politics, culture and everyday reality just mimic, follow and are subordinate to the epic events and concepts of Science Fiction and Fantasy stories.
The Human Individual Singularity
When I was a kid I always had ideas that I thought were great. Such as possibilities to build a "perpetuum mobile". Later I learned that these ideas were already expressed by other people, and often were already refuted. When I got older I still had ideas I considered profound, only to learn once more they were expressed in the past, and better than I did. I learned to not be disappointed by this, but rather see it as a way of a kind of connection, that some ideas are part of culture and maybe civilization, and get expressed time and time anew.
Of all thoughts I had there way only one that, later in life, I never found expressed in any book, encyclopedia or other media. Needless to say, all my life is based on this one thought. It was something that occurred to me when I was 16 or 17 years old. I call it the "human individual singularity". What is the "human individual singularity? The (non-human) "singularity" is, apart from other things, a concept in computer science and artificial intelligence. I haven't read much about it, so what I know about it might be wrong, but, for this text, it doesn't have to be exact, because in this text only my interpretation of it is needed to illustrate a point that will follow.
The singularity, as I understand it, is the point when an computer programmed artificial intelligence (AI) reaches the point that it can make itself smarter or design programs that are smarter than itself; and these programs then design programs even smarter, or the AI becomes smarter once more, setting off a chain reaction that enables AIs to become infinitely smart.
Now what is the human individual singularity?
For it you need to realise the following things:
1. As humans, we have sapience, intellect, reasoning: we are smart.
2. It is of (huge) advantage to be smart.
3. We can raise our intellect, knowledge, mind by several methods such as education, contemplation, reflection.
4. We can use these methods to think up even better methods of raising our intellect and reasoning abilities.
Thus:
5. If we educate ourselves, if we learn about things, If we use our intellect to improve our intellect, our rationality to improve our rationality, we will get on a path to almost infinite intelligence; at least we will always get higher and higher with our mind and reasoning capabilities.
So how does one improve one's intellect? The easiest way is education, learning about topics, reading science books and so on. But on its own it's also the least fruitful. Better is contemplation, reasoning and pondering on the things you learned. Also reflecting on things. The more abstract and rational your approach is, the farther you get; this brings us to
6. The best way is to reflect on reflecting; to contemplate and ponder on the ability to reason and think itself; reaching a type of "meta-intelligence"
Thus:
7. Coming to the realization its best to use reason and intelligence not just on common "intellectual" topics but on everything you encounter in life; reflecting on everything and pondering about it all day, and every day of the week.
This is the idea of the human individual singularity. It's your decision if you want to walk on this path.
Of all thoughts I had there way only one that, later in life, I never found expressed in any book, encyclopedia or other media. Needless to say, all my life is based on this one thought. It was something that occurred to me when I was 16 or 17 years old. I call it the "human individual singularity". What is the "human individual singularity? The (non-human) "singularity" is, apart from other things, a concept in computer science and artificial intelligence. I haven't read much about it, so what I know about it might be wrong, but, for this text, it doesn't have to be exact, because in this text only my interpretation of it is needed to illustrate a point that will follow.
The singularity, as I understand it, is the point when an computer programmed artificial intelligence (AI) reaches the point that it can make itself smarter or design programs that are smarter than itself; and these programs then design programs even smarter, or the AI becomes smarter once more, setting off a chain reaction that enables AIs to become infinitely smart.
Now what is the human individual singularity?
For it you need to realise the following things:
1. As humans, we have sapience, intellect, reasoning: we are smart.
2. It is of (huge) advantage to be smart.
3. We can raise our intellect, knowledge, mind by several methods such as education, contemplation, reflection.
4. We can use these methods to think up even better methods of raising our intellect and reasoning abilities.
Thus:
5. If we educate ourselves, if we learn about things, If we use our intellect to improve our intellect, our rationality to improve our rationality, we will get on a path to almost infinite intelligence; at least we will always get higher and higher with our mind and reasoning capabilities.
So how does one improve one's intellect? The easiest way is education, learning about topics, reading science books and so on. But on its own it's also the least fruitful. Better is contemplation, reasoning and pondering on the things you learned. Also reflecting on things. The more abstract and rational your approach is, the farther you get; this brings us to
6. The best way is to reflect on reflecting; to contemplate and ponder on the ability to reason and think itself; reaching a type of "meta-intelligence"
Thus:
7. Coming to the realization its best to use reason and intelligence not just on common "intellectual" topics but on everything you encounter in life; reflecting on everything and pondering about it all day, and every day of the week.
This is the idea of the human individual singularity. It's your decision if you want to walk on this path.
Idle Time
How did I write so many tracks? Easy: I gave up the idea of idle time. I do spend a lot of my free time on working on music; and there is free time left; but I don't - or very rarely - idle. I know I can't work on music using all my free time without burning out (or rather, burning out more than usual 😉) so in order to balance this a bit I plan to have free time to watch a movie or read a book, but it's all planned. For examples, two hours working on tracks then two hours watching a movie. My days unfold according to a specific order. I rarely arrive at a point where I have nothing planned or don't know what to do. Because that was the major time eater until recently. For example, in the evening I would chat a bit and listen to music and do this and that, just getting dragged along by activities and just losing minute after minute, even hour after hour. Stopping this "lazy behavior" gave me time to properly work on music.
In the past I used to really work on music all weekend basically, but nowadays I'm more balanced and often the "planned recreation time" outdoes the art activity time.
But idleness has been banned to most part and my activities are more ordered now, with, I think, a better output.
Why did I do all this? Well, if you want to start a revolution by art, you gotta show some dedication. :)
In the past I used to really work on music all weekend basically, but nowadays I'm more balanced and often the "planned recreation time" outdoes the art activity time.
But idleness has been banned to most part and my activities are more ordered now, with, I think, a better output.
Why did I do all this? Well, if you want to start a revolution by art, you gotta show some dedication. :)
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