Naturally High

Friends used to call me "naturdrauf", german for "naturally high", and it's true, from my childhood on I would go to states of trance / altered states of consciousness "on my own" without taking drugs. These "states" include feelings as if falling out of the universe / into infinity, loss of self, feelings of loss of control, brain going on "cruise control" with shutdown of reflecting / thinking qualities, feelings of going "out of of body" and / or feeling as if dying, states of extreme euphoria and / or fear.
These happened within very shades of intensity; often mild, but sometimes extreme (usually in states of stress or "too much" action).
Therapists never could help me with these feelings, and It has been the "great work" of my life to learn to live with these feelings.
When I tried to fight them they could be very unpleasurable and negative, when I accepted them and "went with the flow" they became very benevolent and positive and pleasurable

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